Premier League Preview Week 1

Here we fucking go 

Arsenal v Leicester X2
: because it’s Friday and it’s the first game of the season for Arsenal. 

Watford v Liverpool 2 :  Couthino will play the game of his life just to show Barca they need to bid +£1 to transfer him. Also lots of goals each side. 

Everton vs Stoke 1: Everyone hates them fucking ogres 

Crystal Palace vs Huddersfield X No one cares 

Southampton vs Swansea 1 No one cares 

West Brom vs Bournemouth 1 No one cares except that baseball cap twat 

Chelsea vs Burnley 1 Chelsea needs a victory like a young player needs a loan to Vitesse 

Brighton vs Manchester City 2 Banter when a new promoted team is going to score against a billion pound defence 
Newcastle vs Tottenham X2 Spurs are not playing at Wembley so they might have a chance to win it, also they’d like to revenge for being bantered off by Newcastle twice: 1,

Manchester United vs West Ham 1 José will get his dark arts kit and he’ll start crying to the red before the game is even played. 
Now put your wife, your sarnie and your virginity on this accumulator to win fuck all. 

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