Breaking : Alexis Sanchez is staying 

Our hero, our most valuable player,  our #pashun, our  player that „faaaaaaaaaaaaakiiiiinggg rans a round a bit”, our ALEXIS  is here to stay. Just look at what he liked on Twitter. 

Here to stay Alexis  baby! 


Premier League Preview Week 2

Prepare your defibrillators, cancel your gym subscription.  You’ll have all the cardio you’ll ever need just by watching Arsenal being dethroned as „The Invincibles”  by Manchester United after a game, or two. 

Swansea v Manchester United 2 Pointless to even play other teams isn’t it? 

Bournemouth vs Watford X2 No one cares 

Burnley v West Brom X Clash of the thundercunt titans having a shithousery in defending skills 

Leicester vs Brighton 1 After that Arsenal game? meh 

Liverpool vs Crystal Palace 1 Couthino still „injured”. Bonus Arnold to make every British pundit to wax lyrical about him and Daily Mail already preparing bombastic headlines about his cars. 

Southampton vs West Ham 1X Does anyone really care? 

Stoke vs Arsenal 1X2 Olivier Giroud to score his 100th goal for Arsenal  against The Legions of Middle Earth. Sanchez still „injured”. This week is  from lack of sex 

Huddersfield vs Newcastle 1 Playing to promote Sky Bet Championship 

Tottenham vs Chelsea X2  Spurs play at Wembley (hahaha) and Chelsea play after Burnley (hohoho). The only outcome I’d like would be this :

Manchester City vs Everton X I’ve seen Perugia vs Crotone and it was more exciting  than the soul crushing experience of seeing  City players trying to act like they enjoy playing. 

Kong Island : The triggering 

A light hearted YouTube channel  posts a video about Kong: Skull  Island. 

The director, Jordan Vogt Roberts, the artist, takes on to Twitter to defend his creation from the mean hands of satire and no give fuckery:

Alright, we got it, you didn’t like it,  you pointed it out some of the Cinema Sins problems. 

Wait? What? Jumping to Godwin’s Law so quickly? But I thought it was just light banter! 

Alright! Look satire! Being the director of a box office succes movie he must be busy… 

So last rant was about 21 hours ago… 

Holy shit and sweet mother of Behemoth! He is still ranting  after 24 hours, taking and pointing  every single video from Cinema Sins doing a free cinematography class*! 

Alright Jordan,  don’t really want to know how you are when you’re upset and hope you’re dick is alright. Much love! 

*Boss you’ll be able to teach us about cinematography when you’ll win  the Grand Prix at Cannes for a movie about some bloke eating ciorbă, yeah? 

Mbappe has signed on! 

Mbappe  the well known sensational youngester that has been in the heart of this summer transfer skirmish  between Arsenal, Real Madrid and PSG, had signed on! 

After been dropped on the bench after a „club decision„, yesterday, Kylian Mbappe has signed into a famous social media platform to post a photo. 

I’m not the angry racist they see 

did not expect by marching into a swastika formation, making a Hitlergruß, singing „Gas them all” or „The white man marches on” to be considered a alt right nazi or a mere racist. I was just defending the rights of oppressed white men and their right to drive into crowds without beeing considered terrorists. 

Peter Cvjetanovic, 20

Meanwhile in Germany 

PS : Nice Doxxing 

Premier League Preview Week 1

Here we fucking go 

Arsenal v Leicester X2
: because it’s Friday and it’s the first game of the season for Arsenal. 

Watford v Liverpool 2 :  Couthino will play the game of his life just to show Barca they need to bid +£1 to transfer him. Also lots of goals each side. 

Everton vs Stoke 1: Everyone hates them fucking ogres 

Crystal Palace vs Huddersfield X No one cares 

Southampton vs Swansea 1 No one cares 

West Brom vs Bournemouth 1 No one cares except that baseball cap twat 

Chelsea vs Burnley 1 Chelsea needs a victory like a young player needs a loan to Vitesse 

Brighton vs Manchester City 2 Banter when a new promoted team is going to score against a billion pound defence 
Newcastle vs Tottenham X2 Spurs are not playing at Wembley so they might have a chance to win it, also they’d like to revenge for being bantered off by Newcastle twice: 1,

Manchester United vs West Ham 1 José will get his dark arts kit and he’ll start crying to the red before the game is even played. 
Now put your wife, your sarnie and your virginity on this accumulator to win fuck all. 

Let us prepare for the treble! 

Arsenal  came back from behind to level 1-1 against Chelsea in the Community Shield thanks to a late header  from Sead „Panzer /T-90”  Kolašinac

Arsenal won the Community Shield after the new ABBA penalty shoot out system thanks to Courtois and Alvaro Morata  missing their shots. 

Here is José Mourinho with the seal of approval  pointing out the number of major trophies won by Arsenal in 2017 – 2018: